YOU WERE ONCE A COMPLETE FAMILY 

AND YOU NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

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I never thought it could happen to me either, but it did. I thought I was a good parent.

I was my children's Class Mom, CCD Teacher, Girl Scout Leader and my house was always where all their friends wanted to be. I baked and cooked and organized playdates and fun activities. I was an involved parent and of course, I loved my children. They were my world and my life centered around them. I defined myself as being their mom, a good mom.  So when 6 years after my divorce, my youngest daughter began distancing herself from me, I had no idea it would lead to a 27-month complete estrangement from her, where she blocked all contact and refused to communicate with me in any way. I began my experience of this firsthand and it wasn't easy. I questioned everything about my relationship with her, myself, my relationships with other people, my value and my self-worth.  Everything I did and didn't do became moments of intense scrutiny where if it wasn't other people judging me for not having a relationship with my child, it was myself judging me! It took me a year and a lot of self-pity, anger, shame, guilt, blame and regret before I could start doing the really hard work of figuring out what happened and how I could right what went so wrong. I read every book I could find on the subject. I attended online seminars and webinars. I went to three different therapists.  I listened to YouTube videos and podcasts. Then, I hired a Reunification Specialist and I learned more than I knew there was to know about this subject. I became certified as a Reunification Coach.  It was then that I began the process of reconciling with my daughter. Once I was healed and ready to reconcile, I reached out to her in new ways, healthier ways and she told me later when we reconciled, that she could tell I was different.  She felt safe; however it took months before she finally reached out. She had to do so when she was ready.  And when she did and we began the healing process, I knew I had to share with other people what I learned. This should not be something we do alone, it is too hard to be alone in this place.

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