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DISCERNMENT COACHING

FOR COUPLES CONSIDERING RECONCILIATION

BUT HEADING TOWARDS DIVORCE

Deciding to divorce isn't easy. Both spouses are hurt, angry, sad, confused and scared. Getting divorced isn't an easy decision. Some people struggle with it for years. They haven't been happy for a long time and they know the marriage can't stay the way it is. Maybe they tried counseling many times and it didn't work.  Maybe they have given up, but they recognize that divorce is scary. Perhaps if there was a way to fix this, they would consider it.  Maybe they have come to terms that divorce is the only answer. 

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What I have to offer you in this Coaching Program, I can guarantee you have never done before. What I do is different. It is not counseling. We don't discuss the problems and how you got where you are now. We discuss how where you were has led you to where you are now and we focus on how to move forward in the space you are currently in.  We move forward, not backwards. And we do it together as a Team, me and you and your former spouse because figuring this out together saves you time, money, sanity and possibly the chance of a better relationship with your spouse whether you stay married or not. 

SHOULD I STAY

OR SHOULD I GO?

Discernment Coaching can help you decide whether you want:

1. repair/rebuild the marriage (fight);  

2. pursue a divorce (flight); or 

3. stay "as is" (frozen). 

If you are FROZEN, FIGHT (saving the marriage) seems impossible and FLIGHT is scary (getting a divorce). 

You are here because this is a turning point in your life.

There is no turning back and a decision needs to be made, but you need some help.

Haven't you been stuck for too long? Frozen? 

Don't you want to break free and figure out where your life is headed?

"I DO", "I DID", "I DON'T ANYMORE" 

Sometimes Discernment Coaching leads to reconciliation, but if it leads to divorce, you can be sure that if you reach this decision together, even though one party may still not want to divorce, your future together going forward will be a lot easier than if you didn't do Discernment Coaching! 

Give it a try! You owe it to your marriage and your spouse to try one more time! You are going to spend a lot of time and energy getting divorced; so why not expend that energy one more time in trying! This will minimize regret, believe me I know. Countless other couples I have helped will tell you the same thing.  Your marriage and your children if you have them, will benefit from trying! 

 

Discernment Coaching is a healing program. It is better to heal what got you to this place whether you are going to try to save the marriage or not.  How can you say you are a healthy person if you don't know how to navigate a difficult relationship? Help your spouse understand why you are where you are now so that they can heal through this process with you. This is someone you married, someone you loved at one time. They know you the best, and the most and the worst. Heal together so you can move on together no matter what decision you make.

 

Holding Hands

There is always a possibility that the marriage can be restored, renewed, repaired, and sometimes RECREATED.  Maybe you were too young and you didn't understand the demands of marriage or the commitment of relationship or the effort needed to maintain a strong marital bond.  That is ok, many marriages experience dissatisfaction at one time or another.  However, deciding to divorce should be taken very seriously.  Trying one more time is always a good idea since most people find that five years later, they are glad they didn't end it.  Most people find that trying again is healing, even if it doesn't lead to reconciliation. Healing the hurt and eliminating the pain and grief of a marriage dissolving is always a good first step. It helps regardless of the path you choose to take.  Consider it! You will know in 30 days of Discernment Coaching which path to take.  Thirty days will also make you a healthier person as you learn how to make this transition kindly and with compassion, for yourself, your spouse and your children, if you have them.  

WHAT IS DISCERNMENT COACHING?

As your Discernment Coach, we will explore the Discernment Process which allows you, as a couple, to really work on Reconciliation as a final attempt to repair, rebuild, restore, renew and/or recreate your marriage. 

A couple can work with me to discern whether reconciliation is something they would like to try one more time, or maybe for the first time.  

Sometimes Discernment Coaching leads a couple to separation/divorce even after they try to reconcile.  If that happens, we can discuss your options such as Mediation or Collaborative Divorce. 

Divorcing in this way is amicable.  

It teaches you, as a couple, how to negotiate so that both parties feel they have been heard and their needs are being met.  I can show you how to divorce in a way that saves your sanity, time, money and.....

......most importantly keeps your relationship with your spouse intact for the sake of yourselves and your children.  

A Hug

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! and YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!

Please know that help is still available, even if your spouse isn't ready to do the program. Sometimes all it takes is for your spouse to see a change in YOU, and it changes THEM. Together we can explore options for you to possibly save your marriage.  I have done a ton of research on this subject and have found that there are options where one spouse can bring about a change in themselves that in turn, changes their marriage.

 

Please call me to discuss this and we can come up with a solution that works for you. I offer a free, 30 minute consultation. Please know that you can change your emotions and reactions to the stresses in your marriage, and if you can do this FIRST, there is hope that your spouse may follow. There are several paths we can take and explore together.   

Sometimes no matter how hard a couple tries to “repair and rebuild” the relationship, divorce is the only answer.  As long as BOTH couples can walk away knowing that they tried and honestly feel that they “gave it their all”, they walk away without regret, with minimal anger, and with an understanding that despite their differences, they have discovered ways to negotiate with their spouse that maybe they never understood before. 
 

For reflection, please take some time to really listen to this song. It may provide some insight! 

Broken Together by Casting Crowns on YouTube

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