Michele Coppola Wilson   
Transitions Coach
Specializing in Reconciliation, Separation and Divorce 

MY MISSION

I would like to help people realize that divorce does not have to be contentious.  I want them to realize that, if it is possible, they should try to reconcile first.  Even if their spouse wants the divorce and it is being forced upon a spouse that doesn't want the divorce, reconciliation should always be something that both people try.  Both people need to consider the benefit of making sure of this decision because it minimizes, and sometimes eliminates, regret later on.  Research shows that many couples who stay in a marriage and seek the proper help, find that five years later they are happier.  However, some couples have been unhappy for a very long time, and people will choose divorce as the only answer to that unhappiness. 

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When I was choosing to divorce, we had gone to several marriage counselors.  Each time, it did not help us in the long run because we kept returning to the conversation of divorce.  I always felt like if we had had the right person or the right marriage counseling program, our marriage could have been saved. 

 

This thought propelled me into a research project where I spent years learning about why marriage counseling doesn't work and when and under what circumstances it does lead to reconciliation. I spent a year and a half researching this topic.  I attended workshops, read books, did trainings, went on marriage weekends with my current husband, and paid for sessions with experts in the field. 

 

I decided to create my own program based upon these findings, so that I could present the best opportunities to my clients to reconcile.  If a couple participates fully in my program, their marriage can be saved.  I agree sometimes we have to recreate the marriage, not repair and rebuild the one that is existing, because it is broken. But trying to reconcile first is always a good choice. If they try the program, but don't want to complete it, and there are varying reasons for that, it mostly occurs because one of the parties can not harness the thought process of personal awareness and emotional responsibility. When that happens, they erroneously believe they are the "blameless one" and everything in the marriage was their spouse's fault.  The decision to divorce follows shortly thereafter. 

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I still work with the couple to divorce them through Mediation, where I function as their Divorce Coach, because I still believe that during the divorce process, they need someone to help them heal.  When I work with a couple, we are always exploring better communication, regardless of whether they decide to reconcile or divorce.  It is so important if they have children, to try to get along better, once they are able to divorce amicably, because that stands the best chance that they will heal as individuals and if they have children, that their children will not become the collateral damage to their broken relationship. 

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Sometimes offering mediation to a couple and continuing to be able to do the work necessary to help them heal leads to reconciliation. The person that wants the divorce can still get one, and the person who doesn't gets to still have the hope of reconciliation.  That gets both people to come to me instead of attorneys so that they can make sure they don't enter a legal battle that literally destroys their family because their attorney is less interested in their well being or their spouse's mental wellness, but is focused on making sure they represent them legally.  That is fair, that is their job.

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My job is to make sure you are doing this in a way that keeps your sanity, that maintains integrity and grace and that helps you to communicate better for the sake of your children so that you can all still be a family and heal.  That is my mission!