I would like to help people realize that divorce does not have to be contentious. I want them to realize that to try Reconciliation first, through a Coaching Program I designed, because marriage counseling didn't work for my former marriage and I needed to develop something that did. If a couple participates fully in my program, their marriage can be saved. I agree sometimes we have to recreate the marriage, not repair and rebuild the one that is existing, because it is broken. But trying to reconcile first is always a good choice. It virtually eliminates regret. If they try the program, but don't want to complete it, and there are varying reasons for that, mostly because one of the Couple can not harness the thought process of personal awareness and emotional responsibility, then I can help divorce them through a process called Mediation, where I function as a Divorce Coach and the Mediator I work with reduces his fee so that working with the two of us costs as much as working with just a Mediator. That is for two reasons. One, to save you money, but also because it gets the reluctant spouse who wants a divorce to come in because they know that option is still "on the table". When they participate in Discernment Coaching with me, the chance of reconciliation becomes possible. That is also a plus to the willing spouse, because even if our work together ends in divorce, both people walk away with a better understanding of the issues in the marriage, and the reasons why they are where they are today. Uncovering the past hurts, and learning a new way to interact with one another is a win-win, whether the outcome is to pursue a divorce or repair and rebuild the relationship. There is nothing like what I am offering out there today. This program is newly-designed by me and I am eager and excited to present it to as many couples as I can!
MY DIVORCE EXPERIENCE
I am a child of divorce. My parents divorced when I was 7 years old. My first marriage of 18 years ended in divorce.
Both of those life changes has left me questioning a lot about why bad things happen to good people. Here is what I have come to know:
God always answers us, sometimes it’s a “yes”, sometimes it’s a “not yet” and most times, it is “I have a better plan for you”.
Getting divorced is never an easy thing. In fact, it is listed as the second largest cause for stress in a person's life next to the death of a spouse. But that doesn't mean this life change isn't something you can emerge from stronger and move into a future where you grow from this life change and become a healthier, happier person!
MY FACILITATOR ROLE IN DIVORCE
I attended a divorce program in 2009-2010 when I was going through my divorce. Then in 2011, I was asked to facilitate the program as a leader. Now I could take what was given to me and bring it to others; what a blessing this was! I received Facilitator Training at the Archdiocese of Newark and was introduced to a program called, "Surviving Divorce: Hope and Healing for the Catholic Family" which is described in detail here: www.catholicsdivorce.com. At first, I found it quite daunting. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. My training through Janet McCormack, a wonderful kind soul at the Family Life Office in Newark, revealed to me that all I had to do “was set the table, and God would do the rest”. I discovered that just when I didn’t know how to help or what to say, the Holy Spirit would enter the room and I soon discovered that it wasn't me that brought healing, but rather it was through me that healing was possible. “Where two or three are gathered in my name, I am in the midst of them.” Matthew 18:20. We are the hands and feet and mouth and ears of God. In our meetings, I was blessed to witness the awesome presence of God while He met the participants "where they were" and helped them discover that within themselves were all the answers and the strength they needed to heal. I was graced to just watch! It has been truly been a great blessing in my life!
Having facilitated this program now since 2011, and becoming good friends with Rose Sweet, the author of the program, we decided I should be trained to be a Trainer so that I could teach other people to do what I do in my ministry. It is a dream of mine to be able to grow the ministry to other parishes. We now have a team of people that are bringing this program to their parishes, it is very exciting!
I am on fire with the Holy Spirit and hope to duplicate the success I have had with my divorce program so that others can bring it to the parishioners in their parishes. My goal is to spread support groups throughout New Jersey so that everyone can find a group for healing in their area!
To All the Brokenhearted Children of God: I don’t have all the answers, but I can promise you this. People will find support and healing in my ministry or in my business, no matter which route they take because I understand marriage difficulty and divorce. I also understand re-marriage and blending of families. I have a keen awareness of what a marriage needs to thrive and be successful, as I work on that in my own marriage every day. I have been through the tragedy of divorce and I have emerged on the other side. I have had to research what makes a marriage successful because I don’t want my second marriage to fail. I understand the pain and the conflict of divorce, having also been a child of divorce. I want…. no…..I need to help people, because it is what I am being called to do. I welcome this gift with boundless energy and hope. God is waiting in the quiet, empty spaces where people find themselves when they feel they are alone. They are not! God is there waiting. My programs and ministry are designed to help people find Him, themselves and peace. All they have to do is say: “Yes”!